A wilted petal dances slowly through
The air of a hundred cigarettes and tears
Gracefully to its grave on a dusty cold floor
Loneliness; my freedom and lifelong companion
The other nothing to know ...
... where I've been, what I've seen
... the paths I've chosen, and my sins
A crumpled butt of frustration
Tilted monolith in a desert of matted ash
Thickened from times you couldn't hear or see
In a world of practicality and expectations
But blind and deaf in my world of misery
Your words of compassion haven't gone unnoticed
They can't travel the emptiness; no bridge to cross
It wasn't you and it wasn't me
This life constricts and is suffocating
Glistening metallic beacon will set me free
Finally from this cocoon I spread my wings
Hello, dear friends
(you inspire me)
Oh how I missed you so
(you shelter me)
I'm afraid to ask
(you complete me)
How long is your stay?
(I need you)
Note:
This, hopefully, is a new direction for me. The motivation for what I write, draw, paint, etc, will always be driven by the emotion(s) that are consuming me. My goal, at the moment, is to make it more open to interpretation.
Also, I'm in the process of adding some old poems - which might take me a few days.
Ignorance. I believe it to be an ideological disease that affects everyone in this world. It's an elusive and sometimes abstract concept that's hard to predict, prevent, contain and/or label because it can be sown and nurtured anywhere - from our offices of government and church pulpits to schools and home life - and once it infects us it becomes hard to combat because we white-knuckle it like a life preserver in an ocean of adversity and diversity.
In politics we have competing parties with platforms that are loosely based in fact and shrouded in a multitude of personal layers that make touching those platforms offensive to anyone who holds those views close to their political soul.
From the political soul we go to the spiritual, and, unfortunately, sometimes they're made to go hand-in-hand, blurring the line and unraveling the very fabric of unity that defines us as social creatures. Spirituality I look at as the essence of who we are ethically and morally because those values are laid on a much more early and personal foundation, regardless of how they came into being (i.e. religion, experience, etc.), and when we feel these values are being questioned, instead of listening we tend to treat the questioner as a Trojan Horse.
Personhood is where I feel a lot of ignorance gets mislabeled. Regardless of a person's appearance, from dress to heritage, a person's judgment will reflect their experience. For example, a person from the Midwest who's never experienced someone from a different culture can quickly be labeled a racist, misogynist, or homophobe.
Those are just some examples off the top of my head, and I can't understand why we are so quick to define the victim and aggressor when the bigger picture will show that the onus can be placed on everyone involved in the situation. So I have to ask, where does ignorance start and were does it end?
Does it start with the person who comes to a conclusion via their experiences, or does it start with the person who perpetuates the stereotype?
I'm taking it a little easy today because the conference felt like it would never end. The problems were either speaker- or attendee-related; I hate it when a speaker is redundant and makes the same points over-and-over. I also hate self-involved attendees that seem to have a time-management problem and can't follow directions.
Unlike some people that go to conferences, I do appreciate the time that speakers "in the know" give to distribute information to us attendees who are close to the bottom of the food chain. Otherwise that information would either get buried in official newsletters that get lost in the mail or get lost in translation via professional gossip. However, I do think that the further up the chain a person goes, the more removed they are from dealing with large groups of people and become redundant in their speeches.
I also think that politics have infiltrated the work-place on many levels, so people find things to inflate their egos, which they think validates their worth to whichever organization they belong to. Unfortunately, that leads to a reality distortion field that's off the charts. For example, they feel things don't start until they arrive, even if they're a pissant attendee at a conference, so they have no issue negatively impacting other people who truly want to better their jobs. Outside of their world, they look like people who are poor planners with punctuality issues.
Another problem their egos present is that they seem to feel like rules don't apply to them. For example, when a conference coordinator politely asks everyone to turn either their cell phones or ringers off so the sound doesn't impact the conference, that doesn't mean everyone wants to hear your shitty ringtone and watch your fat ass walk out of the brief as if you're the President. You look like inconsiderate ass.
So, after the sessions today Kate and I ate at a local restaurant and walked around the Tampa Port Authority where we saw some interesting shops, an aquarium, and a World War II ship. I recorded videos (seen here) and took pictures (seen here) during our walk.
The conference today went a little smoother. However, I arrived 5 minutes before it started and ended up with a seat next to the production box; basically everybody seemed to walk between me and the box, even though there was no room.
Kate and I used the gym today, and for the size that it is it has nice equipment. For example, they have 3 high tech LifeCycle eliptical machines that have iPod inputs, built-in TV ... basically everything is done through a touch screen. I might video it tomorrow. Anyway, it was pretty cool. The only downside was me feeling like I had to hunch my back a little to use the machine, but I wasn't going cave in and miss some dirt bike contests.
Prior to settling in for the evening Kate and I decided to eat at Jackson's, which is located across the water, and walk around the other side of the hotel's water area for more photos and videos. Here's the link for today's pictures, and the link for today's video.
The conference was hit-or-miss at times, but I survived. As for everything else, I'm still having a good time. I went back to my hotel room for a little while to finish up editing the pictures from Day 1. After a while I decided to take a break so Kate and I could go for a walk and sight-see. We also went back to Champions for dinner, and I must admit their BLT chicken wrap is pretty damn good.
Anyway, what's making this trip easier for me is keeping busy by using every method I have to document it all, which helps keep my mind off of the upcoming flight. So I finished the videos for Day 1 last night and uploaded them to YouTube (I had to split it because it would've been longer than the 10 minute limit), finished the Day 1 and 2 pictures, and the Day 2 video today.
It's 10:39pm (UTC-5) right now, and I have a few more things I want to finish before going to bed. So here's link 1 and link 2 for the Day 1 videos, the link for the Day 2 video, and the links for the Day 1 and Day 2 pictures.
Being a nervous flyer, which is an understatement, I wasn't really too keen on going on this trip. After getting the house to a point where I felt comfortable with allowing people to watch it and the dogs, I finally went to bed sometime after midnight Saturday hoping that being somewhat sleep deprived would help me fall asleep on the plane (it didn't).
We awoke at 5:00am (UTC-5) to shower, load the truck, and basically get our asses on the road so we could make the flight. The morning, as far as I could tell, went without any glitches, hitches, gremlins, or what have you, so we arrived on time. After checking our bag in, we proceeded to the security checkpoint where my lucky number was again pulled for a "random" check. Last time it was my bag; this time it was my shoes.
After our successful expedition through the security checkpoint we then migrated to our gate where we waited for a little over an hour, as planned, for our flight. It was also the planned point in our morning for medicinal stage 3 - taking my valium. I was ready to drop by the time we were able to board the plane. However, my adrenaline kicked in as soon as stepped on to the plane. Oh, before I forget, Kate and I were initially scheduled to sit in separate rows. She was able to talk to the gate attendant and switch seats so I could sit next to her.
The takeoff was good. I was a little nervous, but I can't complain - I was mentally preparing myself on the way to the airport by imagining all the bumps in the road as pockets of turbulence. Shortly into the flight we experienced some slightly rough turbulence that lasted for a few minutes. I learned some breathing and muscle-tightening techniques to help with my fear, and I think they helped some.
The flight went relatively quickly for me, and the landing was the smoothest I've ever experienced. Prior to landing we were informed that we were rerouted a few times and had to slow down due to inclement weather in Tampa. After researching turbulence, how storms affect flying, etc, I was prepared for a white-knuckle landing. However, the only bumps I felt were tiny and only because we went through some clouds.
We picked up a Hyundai Sonata rental car from Enterprise and proceeded to our hotel, the Marriott Waterside. The trip to the hotel was a little stressful, but we made it in a decent amount of time and without any major issue. After we checked in to our room I had to quickly get my Internet connectivity established, and then we finally went to eat at Champions, which is located at the hotel. After our meal we decided to take a nice 4 hour nap, and then I got up and started working on the movies and pictures of our first day.
Hello, Tampa!
Being a very opinionated and passionate person, I know I tend to go a bit overboard with my thoughts and opinions to the point where I’ve obliterated a person’s comfort zone. To some, a perfect world would be Lenina Huxley meets Alfredo Garcia. However, I’m doomed to a lifetime role comparable to Denis Leary’s Edgar Friendly character in “Demolition Man.”
I also find it hard sometimes to discern the overall attitude of discussions or articles I’ve engaged in because I can’t find the secret ingredient that clues me in. It’s easier on a smaller scale among friends and acquaintances because we’re all aware of each other’s personalities. However, on a worldwide Internet scale, it’s even harder because that intimacy is removed. I generally try to read articles over a period of time to get a sense of a writer’s personality, which is when I place the burden on the reader to educate themselves on finding that missing element. When I can’t differentiate the intent in a writer’s piece from an overwhelming onslaught of like-minded commentary then I place the burden on the writer. Some things I look for in a writer’s work are cleverly woven self-deprecating comments, tonal differences, etc; basically an easily overlooked contrast that might take a person with my comprehension skills a few times to read and notice. When a writer consistently writes in a certain fashion where the only differences in their articles are the subjects then, to me, that’s representative of how they think - I don’t think I’m the only one that comes to conclusions that way.
Anyway, after “trolling” on the Internet, I’ve decided to create my own law:
“tayker’s Law:
Any word or phrase used beyond the point of effectiveness that transforms a discussion into a non-progressive back-and-forth that is characterized by implied passive-aggressive undertones for the sole purpose of self-preservation by shielding the user among like-minded people or a "safe word" escape hatch, whether intended or not.”
If there’s already a law out there like this then “EPIC FAIL!”
It’s awaiting moderation:
“This article is misleading because Dvorak owns an iMac and he likes the it. He also wrote about it in one of his articles last year, or maybe the year before. Either way, I don’t expect open minds from people who can’t handle criticism about Jobs/Apple.”
Here’s a link to the article.
I think it’s funny how many vocally closed minded people are drawn towards Apple’s closed proprietary products.
When I upgraded to the latest iPhone operating system I encountered multiple issues, one of which was a "feature." I assumed the feature was a glitch in the iPhone's GUI, but someone on Apple's forums (called "discussions" on Apple's support page) pointed out that the little black square in the camera app is supposed to contain the last picture that was taken on a person's iPhone. If I had created that feature I would have either had it pull the last picture already in the album or had a camera-roll icon in place until the square was populated. I think an icon would create less confusion and encourage a person to press it to understand what it was for.
Other issues I had were cross-pollinating app icons and Wi-Fi connectivity issues. What I mean by cross-pollinating app icons is I had two apps that were using icons from other iPhone applications. For example, one of my apps was using the icon from the Bloomber app. To fix those I deleted the apps via the iPhone, did a hard reset (holding the home button and the power button until the screen goes dark and an Apple logo appears), and re-installed the app. Luckily iTunes remembered that I had previously purchased the app and asked if I wanted to download it again - of course I said "yes." I've read here, on The Unofficial Apple Weblog site, that I'm not the only one experiencing icon issues.
The Wi-Fi issue was annoying. I use a long fat WPA2 key for my Wi-Fi connections, and having to hand-poke that key back into the iPhone really aggravates me, especially after they disabled double-tapping of the Shift key to enable Caps Lock by default (re-enable under Settings > General > Keyboard). To fix this I had to remove my router from my iPhone via Settings > General > Reset > Reset Network Settings, and then re-enter it via Settings > General > Network.
I recently read an extremely biased article, and I'm amazed on many levels. For one, I haven't read an article for the Windows operating system that was that biased in a long time. Secondly, the writer is blatantly guilty of what he accuses others of doing, for example: "Apple's $29 pricing decision is a clever one. They're counting on gullible reporters and analysts to make oversimplified comparisons with Windows 7."
It's wrong on a couple of levels: 1. he compares a multi-capable operating system (Mac OS X Leopard), which there's only 1 version of, with a low-end version of Windows that people will eventually upgrade from (whether it's via purchase or pirating), and 2. he uses the PowerPC as an argument but disregards what a Windows user who purchased a computer prior to Vista would have to go through.
Without further ado, I give you my reply (links are at the bottom of the page):
"Using the math you laid out in your article for my scenario:
Leopard to Snow Leopard (Tiger came with my Mac):
$129 + $29 = $158
XP Pro (XP Home sucks) + Vista Ultimate (Upgrade) + Windows 7
Ultimate (Upgrade):
$129 + $329 + $220 = $778
$778 - $158 = $620 savings on a Mac
Even with the Snow Leopard family pack ($49 to upgrade 5 Intel Macs) my upgrade path would still be cheaper. This article is no different from what a Mac fanboi would write up for the Mac side. Other variables include, and not discussed in this article, people not being happy with XP/Vista Home and upgrading (by purchase or pirating) to XP Pro/Vista Ultimate. As much as I detest all the Jobs/Apple fellatio that goes on online, Apple's pricing is crushing Microsoft.
Let's not stop there ... $0 for Linux Mint and I can run that on a regular PC and a Mac, and it too is a superb operating system.
IRT the PowerPC argument, when Apple transitioned to Intel PC manufacturers were transitioning to Core Duos from the P4, and the standard RAM amount was 512MB. Sure, PowerPC users are left in the dark. Because of Vista's requirements, PC users would either have to upgrade their processor and RAM, or buy a whole new computer so Vista could run adequately. So, either they are left in the dark too, or the cost of their PC just increased.
It helps both sides of an argument to not be biased."
"For Windows enthusiasts who are planning ahead, Microsoft is running a promotion that will offer a more than 50 percent discount on the premium and professional upgrade versions of the operating system.
From June 26 to July 11, consumers in the U.S. can pre-order the Windows 7 Home Premium upgrade for $49.99 and the Windows 7 Professional upgrade for $99.99. The offer will be available online via retailers like Best Buy, Amazon.com, or the Microsoft Store."
I find this insulting. Apple is doing something similar with their Mac OS X Snow Leopard operating system upgrade, except there's only 1 version of Snow Leopard. That's right, no "Pro," "Home," "Ultimate," etc, just 1 version of Mac OS X Snow Leopard. The price is $29 for Leopard users to upgrade (for users of non-Leopard versions, Mac OS X Snow Leopard will cost $129). In addition to that, as a Mac OS X Leopard owner I have the option to upgrade up to 5 Leopard-based Macs to Snow Leopard for $49, whereas with Microsoft $49.99 gets you one license for a crap version of Windows 7. So far I haven't found a specific time frame to buy Snow Leopard to take advantage of the pricing, but Windows users have barely two weeks to take advantage of Microsoft's pre-order pricing.
To put it in more simple terms: for $50 I can either upgrade 5 Macs with Mac OS X Leopard to Mac OS X Snow Leopard, or I can upgrade 1 computer with Vista to a low-end version of Windows 7 (... or I can upgrade all of my Macs and Windows computers free of charge to Linux Mint 7).
Let's say that someone isn't eligible for or falls outside of Microsoft's window of opportunity. In that case Windows 7 Home Premium jumps to $119.99 for an upgrade and $199.99 for the retail version. Similarly, Mac OS X Snow Leopard will cost $129 across the board for Mac OS X Tiger users (with Intel-based Macs). For an additional $40 ($169 total) those Tiger users can buy the Mac Box Set that includes Mac OS X Snow Leopard, iLife '09 and iWork '09 (if purchased individually, iLife and iWork cost $79 per suite).
Linkage:
Update article
Windows versions
Note: This requires the application Speed Download from Yazsoft
I recently freed myself from Firefox, but I do miss some of the extensions I used. One of them allowed me to download YouTube videos but only in the Flash video format (.flv). From there I had to either watch them via VLC (which is a great app) or convert them with iSquint (which is no longer maintained) to watch them on a portable media player like an iPod or Zune. There are other options, including sites that convert files in various formats. The problem I had with using online sites was the speed - sometimes it would take forever to convert the file while other times it would convert quickly but the download would be slow.
My personal preference for downloading anything is using a download manager because of various features, from resuming downloads to adding additional connections that can speed up the download (unless a site limits downloads by IP address). My download manager of choice on the Mac is Speed Download, and I just found out about a capability that gives it another plus in my book. Speed Download can download YouTube videos in a .mp4 format for easy viewing. Here's how to do it:
1. Go to the YouTube page hosting the video you want
2. Right click anywhere in the browser window except on the video
3. Go to Speed Download > Download YouTube video
4. Go to ~/Downloads/Music (default Speed Download setting), or where ever you specified in Speed Download's Preferences
5. Watch movie
There are many things that negatively affect the Mac community, from the elitist mentalities to the over-protective rock star image Mac fans project onto Steve Jobs. Simply put, it's Orwellian.
As we all now know, Steve Jobs had a liver transplant, which was first reported by the Wall Street Journal. This bit of news seems to have sparked controversy in the Mac community; the Steppford Wives-ish surreal personality that has been the facade of the Mac community for years is now being tested by post-Windows users who see Apple as nothing more than a company and not the lifestyle of yore.
Regardless of the near-homoerotic fawning by Mac fanbois and fangrrls, Steve Jobs isn't the visionary people make him out to be; essentially he's the "captain of the ship" who pulls everyone together and keeps the Apple brand moving, so to paint him as anything other than the chief executive officer (CEO) of Apple Inc. demeans and disregards the work of the people responsible for giving us the products we use. How quickly people forget the accolades these people received from Steve Jobs at Apple-related conferences and trade shows. In addition to all of the current toadying, people have forgotten that Apple still continued to thrive after Jobs left the Apple CEO spot the first time in 1985 to form NeXT.
With all of that being said, I'm not dismissing Jobs' part in the process, and I can acknowledge and respect Steve Jobs' preference for privacy (I do believe he is entitled to some). However, as CEO of Apple Inc., he has a financial obligation to the company and to stockholders. I also think that because of the image Apple fans project onto him, he thinks he can disregard some obligations and take certain liberties. What I'm trying to say is that Jobs' health is important to stockholders and board members. They don't need to know all the intricate details, but they do need to know what's going on because it affects his performance at the company and, as seen in the past, can affect Apple's stocks as well.
An example of the liberties I'm referring to is his not being forthcoming about his health status. Imagine, if you will, how stocks would look if he had been forthcoming, made plans (i.e. his successor, medical leave, return to work, etc.), and maybe died. Sure, Apple's stocks would have dropped, but knowing there was a plan in place would have reinforced consumer and financial confidence, and things would eventually have rebounded. Compare that to his rock star approach to everything; if he suddenly dropped dead, the situation would be devastating because of all the uncertainty. That's why he has an obligation.
So let's stop the Chris Crocker cries of "leave Steve alone!" and move forward.
11 Things The Bible Bans, But You Do Anyway
The comments are what I found to be more interesting than the article itself. Although the argument of context is important, I believe consistency is also important. If people are going to use the "context" card for an argument then I think it would give more credibility to their arguments if they were consistent.
For example, draw a parallel with Jesus saving the adulteress in the book of John to homosexuality. Today there are many people who want to throw stones at homosexuals, from the unlawful raid in Texas to California’s Proposition 8. However, those people don’t throw stones at the alcoholics, pedophile religious leaders, or politicians they support. The flip-side is that Jesus had people look within themselves and when they did so, they found that no one was suitable enough to throw a stone.
What I’m trying to say is part of being a straight arrow is not appearing crooked.
Recently I've been having weird dreams. Not the common "I'm falling off a cliff" or "I'm being chased" ones, I'm talking about "where the hell did that come from?" ones.
Let's start with my dream I had Saturday night ... in this dream I was gay and romantically involved with a black male (a recent acquaintance of mine in real life). The dream starts off with me seeing my lover off as he leaves to go somewhere with someone I assume is a business associate because of that person's attire and the vibe of the dream.
Next thing I know I'm being questioned by police for his disappearance, and this passive-aggresive bull-dyke of a cop with a sweet and innocent voice asks me to lay on the ground so she can handcuff me, which I do. While she's telling me in her sweet innocent voice that she understands I probably think I'm not the one who did it, she's wrestling my arms as if they're trying to get away - that's some contrast there.
As Officer Hooks ("Police Academy" reference) is wrestling with the cuffs, I see a group of business people walking past us without any sign of acknowledging my ordeal, and one of those gentlemen was the person who was with my lover as he left. After seeing them I somehow ask Hooks if I can go talk to that man to see where he and my lover went, but I wake up as soon as we meet face-to-face.
Last night my dream was even more surreal. It started off with a group of people getting together with our "Viva Pinata"-themed vehicles (they were similar to the back of older fire trucks) in a dark area. I wouldn't say we were free-floating because I did notice we were on something, but I don't recall anything else around us other than darkness.
As we're chatting away, our vehicle benches flip back, we're suddenly harnessed inside a wire mesh ball surrounding our vehicles, and then we start spinning. During this whole episode we have our eyes closed. I find it amazing how I can understand things when I'm impaired in a dream, and yet in real life that would be far from reality.
As we're spinning, a distant head (a combination of a clown and the Michelin Man) draws closer in the dark space of our thoughts, taunting us. After spinning and being taunted for a while he finally says we can open our eyes, and the spinning sensation immediately stops. We notice that we are in space with the head now in front of us, and then we somehow start to freefall horizontally in slow motion towards it.
What I find funny is that I was afraid because of the scenario, but the head wasn't scary in a typical "scary face" way - it was cute and smiley, and as we hurl towards it, it continues to smile big, no gnashing teeth or lip smacking, just smiling with a sideways glance.
Another odd aspect of the dream was that I shifted back and forth between a first-person and a third-person perspective. While in a third-person perspective, I notice that the ball we are in is the same size as the head, and then I woke up.
I never thought I'd see the day where I would consider myself in the same community of snobs that I despise. Seriously, a typical Mac fan doesn't question the Jobs-ian logic that comes out of Apple. Before I go into my little spiel I do want to say that not everything Apple makes is perfect (from the overly sensitive click-wheel on the iPod to batch renaming in OS X), so I feel Apple is nothing more than a company that makes money off the way Steve Jobs wants things to work. Has anyone ever seen a review of an Apple product in any Mac magazine that wasn't below an "above average" rating? Although I've seen some PC rags that might have their favorites (:cough: PC Magazine and Symantec :cough:), I haven't read one where a Microsoft product wasn't put through its paces. Hell, when Spotlight came out in Mac OS X everyone evangelized it and there were tips and tricks in all the Mac rags, but what happens when Spotlight is updated in Leopard? Only then did I read about all the Spotlight woes of Mac-dom. God damn! Makes me want to inflict bodily harm on those pretentious, Prozac-popping, delusional people.
Anyway, some of the reasons I finally consider myself primarily a Mac (and Linux Mint) user are: 1. Microsoft's apparently oblivious view of the PC market, 2. computer designs, and 3. software functionality.
I think Microsoft is oblivious because of their blatant disregard for anything obvious, to include easier choices, less confusion, and people not wanting to go into debt for a piece of software that runs their computer.
People want the latest and greatest of anything, that's just a simple fact. If the common computer user had the knowledge of a Microsoft certified professional, they would know they needed Vista Ultimate over Vista Home, for example. Even though a Windows computer could be purchased for approximately $500, after a person finds out they don't have the OS they want, they will need to shell out an additional $400 for Vista Ultimate. At that point, if the common computer user wasn't technology ignorant, they would see that for $99 more they could get a low-end Mac laptop that runs solidly. Sure, they could save a penny by installing Linux, but that's more daunting to someone who doesn't know the difference between the registry and a x11.conf file.
People like choices, yes. The starting point should be what computer to buy, i.e. Linux, Windows, or Mac, and after that users should weigh the benefits of of each OS, not Linux, Windows version A through Z, and Mac. This is why I think Microsoft needs to create one version of their OS. Once a person has decided on a computer, the choice then should be what software they need for what they want to do. Mac is guilty of some confusion here because iLife, an $80 Apple software suite, is included with every new Mac purchase, but even Mac elitists talk it up as if it's part of the Mac OS. However, that's less of a headache then trying to figure out which Windows OS a person wants.
People want their computer to work like they think it should; most people just want to turn it on and go. Essentially that's the way it should be, because the purpose of the operating system is to make it so a person can use a computer. Sure, an OS can have additional functionality, but Internet Explorer and Windows Mail aren't part of the OS because they still require an OS to function. We've come so far from command line operating systems that people have lost focus on the core functions of software: using operating system to run a computer, a word processor to write documents, an e-mail client to send and receive e-mail, etc. When Microsoft gets the fundamentals right, with an affordable price, then I think they'll be able to recoup the ground they've lost. Until then they will continue losing ground in the home market and piracy will continue.
On to computer designs ... even though I'm not completely on-board with the whole "aluminum and glass" design that I've exhaustingly equated to kitchens and restaurant fixtures, I do think Macs are sleek; they don't have any protruding Wi-Fi switches or headphone jacks, the edges are flush, and they're relatively quiet. If you take a look at most computers and laptops you'll notice what I mean. My iMac doesn't have the roar of a 600 watt power supply when I turn it on, and I don't rip any shirts or break switches that extend past the edge of my MacBook. I already baby my computers enough when I move them around; I don't want to have anything more to think about when I do have to move them.
All operating systems, in essence, run the computer. What I don't like is having to hunt and peck to get to what I want, for example: scrolling the Windows' Start menu and the Macintosh's Applications folder. This is where functionality comes in; Windows doesn't have one "catch all" folder, so a user has to peck through folders all over the hard drive just to edit the Start menu. Mac, on the other hand, has the dock. I don't care how evolved the Windows Start bar is in Windows 7, until it can replicate the functionality of the Mac OS X Dock, it still has a way to go.
On Windows you first have to find where you can unhide folders (psst! The option is under "Organize," not "Views" like most people would think), then you have to open a couple of windows - one for where you're going to consolidate your shortcuts (also called links) and another to open the folders that hold the links you need to move. The latter will allow you to look in the hidden "ProgramData\Microsoft\Windows\Start Menu\Programs" folder (Whew! that's a lot of clicking before I can even start to move some links) and "Users\ On a Mac I can go to the Applications folder, create aliases (the Mac equivalent to Windows' shortcuts) for the programs I want, move them to a folder that I can create anywhere, and then drop that newly-created folder onto the dock for easy access. Functionality doesn't stop there because I can either have the dock icon I created open up that folder, or I can use the stacks function to display all of my icons the way I want (ex: fan, grid, list, automatic). With the upcoming Snow Leopard, which will only run on Intel-based Macs, Apple has added even more functionality to stacks which will affect sub-folders - if there are any. It doesn't stop there. Let's say I like my Mac but I have school or professional files I need to work on that require me to use Microsoft programs. That's not a problem because users can now install Windows on a Mac via Boot Camp (which is easy, and I'll write my experience about that later) or run it virtually via Parallels, VMware Fusion, or Sun's VirtualBox. After thinking about it, I can probably now run my Zune software on a Mac, finally. Having said all of that, those things are just a mere snippet of why I'm now on the Macintosh (and Linux Mint) bandwagon.
So much inside
White knuckled, gritted teeth
Shoulder against the door of facade
A hellhounds wrath wrought
For the slightest thread of light
Which breaks integrity
In times of trial, the slightest bend
Become visual sirens of weakness
Seeking emotional reinforcements
Shoring up girders of strength
To any threat of manhood
Vines of time now scour
Thickened walls of past
Wild growth now rising
Covering paths of missed moments
Soon to be unearthed
As the ultimate showdown nears
Serpentine rays twist through brush
Alert war drums fervently pound
Signaling archers to ready
As the first wave mounts
Awaiting the call
From the ivory tower
As time passes
The onslaught draws to a close
The Sun Queen penetrates a weakened wall
Enveloping the barricaded heart
Strengthening the walls together
The only witness to what is
I've never hidden the fact that I'm not a pill taker and my belief that pills are too quickly given out to treat perceived mental health disorders (i.e. ADD and depression). I'm not saying I write them all off, but when it seems like every woman I come across has her own Prada happy pill then I feel compelled to wonder how much of it is just people escaping the life they created and how much is really a chemical imbalance?
Let's face it, we've all done things we're not happy about, and I can understand that some people feel like they're worth more than the life that they have. I look at it one of two ways, either people don't want to put the effort into their life and hope for some "American Idol"-esque thing to happen so they can be the next star on MTV cribs, or they don't care enough about their own life to make wise choices so their life is the result of their failure to invest in themselves. The problem I have with these scenarios is that all a pill will do is whitewash their mental state and allow them to continue on their current path of pill reliance while they continue to have unrealistic fantasies and make bad decisions without remorse; it won't prompt them to wake up and start taking steps to better their lives. Based on talking to people and societal actions from consumerism to entertainment, this is the category I think most people belong in.
Then there's the minority of people with chemical imbalances. I truly believe anything is possible and that there are people who aren't physically developed like a regular person. I split this group into 2 sub-groups: 1. sedentary people and 2. physical defects. From my experience, I'm not extremely happy when all I do is sit around. While researching health books, publications, and health sites I learned that exercise can help stimulate the receptors necessary to make people feel less depressed, so at one point in my life I decided to exercise and be active, and that elevated my happiness. As for physical defects? That's the group I feel should be prescribed some medicinal help to better their lives.
Because of what I just wrote and what I recently found out, I'm not happy. Not the "OMG! I need a happy pill quick" unhappy or wanting to throw myself in front of a bus; I'm not happy because I'm in pretty decent health, and yet I found out that I have an anxiety disorder. What started the ball rolling was what I thought was a heart attack last September. All the tests that were performed said I was in pretty good health, however, the doctor in the ER said it could've been an anxiety attack. The problem I had with that assessment was that I wasn't stressing over anything at the time - I was surfing the Internet, reading forums and web comics.
Since the scare I have made many lifestyle changes, like using a software program called Pzizz to help my sleeping, stopping smoking cigars, not drinking after 6pm, setting up a bedtime routine, etc. Everything I have done so far has helped but not enough. A month ago I received an e-mail from the makers of Pzizz about some method for something. I don't have the e-mail anymore, or remember what that method was called, but I do remember it was supposed to help with anxiety disorders. The funny part is that I never knew there was such a beast.
After reading that e-mail, I put my Internet tools to use and did enough research to get an idea of what an anxiety disorder consisted of, and I learned that some of my tendencies fit some of the criteria. I'm not sure about PTSD even though my sleep problems didn't start until I got back from DESERT STORM, but I do have OCD tendencies. For example, all of my shirts have to be hung a certain way, and I'm overwhelmed by clutter. A recent episode that bothered Kate was me meticulously arranging items on my placemat. I also hate germs; I usually never buy anything from the front of the shelf and will pull half the shelf off to get items in the back and I panic when I can't find a clean spot to open a door or there isn't a paper towel for me to use so I can open a bathroom door that swings in.
Then there's the "improper worrying," as my doctor called it. For example, I love planes and think they're an amazing human creation. However, I can't stand the thought of flying in one. On my last flight, I took a Xanax, 2 Tylenol PMs, and drank 4-5 Jack Daniel's (in addition to a double JD at the bar pre-flight), and I was still energized for almost 2 hours after our plane landed. It wasn't until we were close to home that I started to feel tired. What amps me up is the fear of crashing. As simple as it sounds, it is more complex than that because I have to run through various scenarios of "what ifs" that cover how I might die to how quick and painful it will be. Throw turbulence and stories about plane crashes into the mix and my adrenaline kicks into overdrive.
As funny as it sounds, it doesn't stop there. I like to consider myself a sociable person, however, I get overwhelmed being in a large open area with many dirty people or standing in front of a group of people. Going to some Fredtalk gatherings in the past has helped, and now I feel OK to be among a few people in a small room, but going to the mall or restaurant still gives me chest pains.
So I'm in the early stage of trying to work through my "disorder" (I am having a denial issue), and I'm on anti-anxiety medication for generalized anxiety disorder. What's making it easier for me is that I don't have to go on an anti-depressant, we have a short-term medication plan that will hopefully have me off the medication after a month or two, and I woke up only once last night (I usually wake up at least 3+ times a night). Part of me just doesn't want to discuss this and wants to wish it away, but the other part finds relief in sharing my experiences. I can't explain it right now, but when I talk about things I endure it feels like I've taken a satisfyingly huge mental and emotional crap.
In days of yore
Before men were bores
Women were wisest
Across the land
I think it’s strange
How things have changed,
We’re still guided
By women’s hand.
From our very first walk
To when we could talk
Your soft nurturing voice
Always said we can
So even in youth
We knew the truth
That women also
Make the (wo)man
We should always say
Outside your day in May
For you deserve
Our very first words
To always wish you
A happy Mother’s Day!
Dedicated to my wife who’s my inspiration
Like a Firefox user is stuck with the browser, I'm trapped with FiOS. Sure, people can say I can use another browser and Internet service provider (ISP), but that shows me how stupid they are. The key for me is making my life easier, not harder.
Let's use browsers as an example. I love Opera and do use it occasionally. However, I never use the widgets and using Javascript to add functionality seems like a hassle. I'm interested in Google's Chrome browser after reading about the pwn2own results, but there isn't a Mac version, and I don't want to run a virtual app for 1 program. Firefox, compared to the others, has made my life easier with the numerous extensions that are easy to install. However, Firefox is clunky and gets slower with every extension installed, and I'm not feeling as secure after pwn2own. Firefox's themes are a nice touch to change the outdated look of it, but the themes can create graphical glitches like button bars expanding when a mouse cursor hovers over a button, or a button that looked fine with the default theme might look way different with another theme - I've had drop-down menus added to buttons and some buttons either became larger or the button pic shifted off center.
Simply put, FiOS is like going from dial-up to cable. Plus, I need that bandwidth for business reasons. Like Firefox, it's the only game in town that gives me what I need. The only way I will switch is when something new and better comes along. So I will vent my frustrations with them right here.
Speaking of frustrations ... I am in the process of switching from shared hosting with Lunarpages to dedicated hosting with Media Temple. During the process of entering my guinea pig domains that were the first to be used with the new service, my Internet dropped. At first I thought it was OpenDNS. Long story short, OpenDNS' welcome page indicated I was using OpenDNS. However, my first domain wasn't resolving, and OpenDNS' cache check showed my DNS info had propagated. Even though my Airport Extreme had the correct OpenDNS IPs for DNS, I had to locally enter them in my iMac's ethernet settings to work. Thinking back, I should've flushed my DNS. Anyway, at that point I assumed OpenDNS was having issues.
After clearing the OpenDNS IPs and using the defaults, I started getting Verizon's no access pages, which gave me an option to login and see if my account was active. Lo and behold, after logging in it said my account was in fact active and displayed a notice to call support if I was still having connection issues.
Let me back up a little further because there are a couple pertinent facts that need to be known: 1. I had some connection issues a few months ago. When you call Verizon you are prompted to enter the phone number that is associated with the account, which I found out that I hadn't updated. So at that time I was told that I needed a new router, which I received over a week later, and I asked the support person if he could update my phone information.
2. Last October we set up an appointment to have FiOS TV installed on October 18th. Like cable companies, our window was from 8am to 5pm. However, our tech never showed up. After having our time wasted we decided we weren't interested anymore. To add fuel to the fire, a tech called on November 18th to let us know he was at the house to install our service. So, again, we expressed we weren't interested because no one showed up on the date we set in October.
Getting back to yesterday, when I initially called Verizon I entered my current home phone number, but the automated attendant said there wasn't any information associated with that number, so I used the old 703 Vonage number we had, and that worked. After 5-10 minutes of redundant minutia I finally reached the FiOS Internet section which disconnected me before I could speak with anyone.
After going through that again, I was finally speaking with a person who eventually put me on hold. I should've realized what was to come because I was bumped back into the main phone system menu after waiting for 5 minutes. From there it became a circle jerk that lasted from 8/8:30 am to when I finally passed the cell phone to Kate around 2:30pm due to frustration.
This is what the problem was: someone else's outstanding debt ($600+) was linked to me in Verizon's computer system.
Because of that, they suspended my FiOS Internet service. I discovered this after speaking with person number 3 out of the 14 I would eventually have to deal with. The most common reason I was being passed off to another group was because no one was able to access my account because another group locked it. Thus started the circle: tech support to billing to finance and back to tech support, which started the circle again. Somewhere in there I had to deal with a FiOS phone and Internet group (which was surprising to me because I assumed FiOS would only have 1 dedicated group, with Internet, TV, and phone being meted out from there), phone line quality at Verizon, a lost cell signal, and rude people who said I agreed to the service or couldn't wait a few minutes so I could find my account information because they weren't seeing anything under my old 703 number.
I'm not going to speak about Kate's experience except that she endured what I did up to 6:45pm. I also have a client who went through a similar ordeal, but her's was with Verizon's phone service. Thus concluded our anniversary vacation.
I promised my daughter a while ago that I would take her to an Apple store because they have a table setup for children to use. So I decided to take Monday off and take the entire family to a nearby Apple store during spring break. A good time was definitely had by all, and I'm sure the iPod Shuffle surprises and lunch at Jerry's Subs and Pizza didn't hurt either.
As a result of my iPod purchases, I received 2 e-mails from Apple: 1. a questionnaire about my experience, and 2. a helpful one that covers the basics with additional links to enhance my iPod experience.
Since I purchased the iPods in the United States, I was surprised to get the error I did. Here are 2 screenshots:
The e-mail
The error
This was born out of my frustration with operating systems, but I feel it can be applied across the board to software development in general. After dealing with individual, corporate and government clients, I think developers are less concerned with the general user and focus more on evolving their product to make current customers happy first, and then, as if it was an afterthought, they dumb down their product to lure new customers, which I think is a beyond asinine approach.
I define a general/basic user as a person who wants to turn on the computer and have it work as expected, i.e. open a mail program to send and receive e-mail, a word processor to write papers, etc. I think there are many levels of advanced users, but I think the first level starts with the person who has evolved into someone who wants to enhance their user experience outside of the e-mail and office productivity basics, i.e. the person who compiles the latest kernel, or tweaks registry or plist files.
I won't ever buy another Microsoft Windows operating system (OS) if it's priced over $130. I don't know how to best articulate my next point but I'd rather endure excruciating physical pain that will only last a sliver of the time it takes to research software that has more than 1 flavor (Microsoft, while not the only developer who does this, seems to overkill multiple versions of the same OS), so the Ultimate/Pro version better not exceed the price point previously mentioned. It has to be simple to use whether it's being installed or used for its intended purpose.
I arrived at my price point by comparing prices of current OS's (Linux, Mac OS X, and Windows) and their feature set. Outside of marketing hype to make a profit, I can't comprehend the necessity to price an OS higher than Mac OS X. I don't fault companies for making money, because that's what they do; however, when comparing features and usability, I can't see a difference between Linux, Mac OS X, and Windows XP Pro/Windows Vista Ultimate. I have no issue with Microsoft paring down Movie Maker and other fun apps if they feel it's necessary to bring the price down, but there are open source alternatives that are more feature-rich than those extra apps - who doesn't like VLC more than Media Player? I also hope Microsoft copies Apple and compiles the fun apps into an iLife type of product that's either included with every new computer sold or a standalone product with a reasonable consumer price point. Even though I think $80 is more consumer-friendly, I think anything over $130 is ludicrous.
I think multiple versions of a software product is insanely stupid. I like options, and I like saving money, but I think the options should be IN the software with a price that can make it accessible to everyone (making it inaccessible only breeds piracy). Having to administer stand-alone PCs, workstations, networks, and telephone switches, I would think that the company who developed and tested the software would see how tedious administering their product could be. Because of government requirements, it's not unheard of to see a workstation in the vicinity of an independent computer. To a general user, if the workstation and the stand-alone were both running Windows Vista or XP then ostensibly it shouldn't be hard to work on either system seamlessly. However, that's not the case. I will admit that it's more evident when someone has to venture into more advanced territory like forcing a user to change their password as soon as they log on to Vista Home. To confuse people more, there are 2 versions of Home - Basic and Premium. As far as I'm concerned, this is a business decision to create confusion and validate certifications. I think certifications are necessary because they give employers, contract officers, or whomever a warm fuzzy that they're getting someone with the right experience.
I've read and heard many reasons for having multiple editions, but I haven't come across a good one yet. The most common one I heard was something along the lines of having a product that's easy for a basic user. The reason why I think that line is nothing short of insulting is because I've seen perfect implementations to combat that argument. Whether it's installing software or using it, why not create a basic mode and an advanced mode? Installing Mac OS X and partitioning in Linux are perfect examples. Installing Mac OS X is basically clicking "OK" through the whole process, but there are buttons that open up extra windows for additional options like to install X11. I remember having to use a calculator to help with partitioning drives for Linux but now it's a couple clicks for people who want ease, and there is a button that gave me more options if I wanted access to them. Outside of a manufactured reason for profit only, I don't see a need for multiple editions.
The clincher for my major OS paradigm shift was my Mac Boot Camp experience trying to get Windows Vista Ultimate installed on my iMac. For all the stupid attempts money-hungry software companies make trying to combat piracy, I feel their desire to protect their product is a valid concern. Even though I feel making a good product with a reasonable price is the best option, I can accept the need for software keys. Activation, on the other hand, I think is stupid. Anyway, I was getting ready to install Vista to my newly created partition but it stopped. It stopped because I was installing the Vista Ultimate Upgrade that cost me $250 at Best Buy. Instead of asking me for the key to my Best Buy purchased Windows XP Pro, also for $250 at the time it was still relevant, it told me I had to install the other OS first. Unlike earlier versions of Windows, it didn't offer me the option to insert my XP CD for verification. After trying about an hour and a half to install it various ways thinking I was overlooking something and figuring out how to boot back to my Mac OS (hold the Option key to get boot device options), I decided that I wanted to just buy another non-upgrade version of Vista so I can install my business software. However, looking at the upgrade price I became less than pleased and decided no way will I buy an OS that's more expensive than Apple's products, especially if it does less - Vista Home Basic alone is $199. Another option is buying XP OEM edition off newegg.com, but that's still $140.
I used to like Windows because it was familiar, easy to use, and allowed me to work and play games on it. Now I play most of my games on consoles, do most of my personal stuff on my Macs, and have OpenOffice, Office for Mac, and iWork 09 for business productivity. Nothing completely ties me to Windows anymore, except for QuickBooks and Microsoft Access. As soon as CodeWeavers' Crossover for Mac works with QuickBooks, or Intuit releases an updated QuickBooks for Mac that's equal to its Windows counterpart, I won't see any reason to stay with Windows. As interested as I am in Windows 7, unless Microsoft makes a product that meets my requirements, I don't forsee a future upgrade and will continue to use my old Athlon system running Windows XP for QuickBooks and Access while recommending other solutions to clients.
I was having 10 o'clock problems last week, so I decided to steep and drink Lipton's regular green tea because it always made things move. The only thing I knew about tea up to that point was to put a tea bag in really hot water until the water changes color. The tea was horrendous that day but I pushed through and finished it - which didn't help with the 10 o'clocks in the slightest.
Later that day, with a bitter green tea taste left in my mouth, I decided to find out why tea sporadically tasted good. I found out that restaurants basically had the same approach as I did, and that different teas have different steep times and temperatures. Armed with that new-found knowledge I was able to make a couple decent mugs of Lipton green tea. I don't know why, but I notice an odd texture and get a dry tongue when I eat hot foods with wooden utensils and brew tea in paper bags. However, when I was a child we had these stainless steel ball and spoon things that we used to put tea and herbs in for food and drinks, so with that in mind (and a dry mouth) I decided to look into loose leaf tea brewing. I found an excellent site that is perfect for beginners like myself, and they have a $20 starter set that includes 4 tea samples (8-10 cups per sample), a book about tea, and a microwavable teapot. The teapot is called IngenuiTEA, and you put it on top of your mug after it's finished steeping. There's a hole in the bottom of the IngenuiTEA that's controlled by a disk-like mechanism that's receded in the bottom, and, when placed on a mug, opens the hole to dispense the tea. I've read that a lot of tea connoisseurs poo poo using the microwave, but it's good for a beginner like myself.
The site that I purchased my starter pack and a sampler pack from is Adagio. I'm amazed at how organized they make the entire experience; finding tea on the website is easy, and the sample tins I have show the steeping temperatures and times. Aside from the the teas I accidentally steeped too long, each cup I've had was really good, so I don't see myself going back to tea bags, except for emergencies.
I don’t know what it is that gets me reading. Whether it’s movies, books, or lyrics, I really don’t care about characters in a story, the underlying meaning (although it’s fun to discuss with other people), or the size of the book. What I do know is that paint will dry faster than I can read a book.
It’s also not literary Prozac; I have no desire to escape the ills of my life, or live my life through a fictional character because I’m too pathetic to live the life I want. It has to be entertaining in some way, and I love the life I have. So connecting with a character isn’t that important.
Being an analytical person, it almost seems contradictory when I say I don’t like having to use a dearth of scientific tools to get some value out of a tome. Before I start picking things apart, something pretty and shiny needs to flicker for my attention. It isn’t until after I’ve finished reading something before I like to talk about it. I prefer to use “talk about it†because sometimes it could just be about the story, other times it could be an underlying meaning. Regardless, I don’t like feeling I’m gearing up to find a cure for cancer when I’m starting a book.
The only thing I hate about books is, I think, page density. When I read a thin book, pages usually stay in place as I’m reading. With larger books I either have to put a finger in between pages, or lay something heavy on a book so ensure my page doesn’t flip.
I also don’t mind knowing the endings of stories. I know for some people it’s all about the build up, but if the ending doesn’t go the way they want then they act like some entitled jackass. For me it’s more about the journey and how it’s presented. Sure, there have been some endings I wasn’t happy with, but the last 20 pages don’t ruin the 300 or more page journey I took.
After typing all of this, and reflecting on some of the books I enjoyed reading, I think I like books that have a voyeur-ish feel to me; they make me feel like I have a front row seat in their world. Anything matter-of-fact will lose me.
I’m a 007 fan. However, I started with the movies when I was a child and am just now getting into the books. Ian Flemming writes in a matter-of-fact way, everything is because it is. The only things that are keeping me reading are the movie foundation that I have and the way he writes Bond’s personality - which, for the most part, is portrayed rather well on the big screen.
With all of that being said, I’m currently reading 3 books: Ian Flemming’s “The Man With The Golden Gun,†“Slash†by Slash with Anthony Bozza, and “Drood†by Dan Simmons. I’m almost finished with former 2, and I just started “Drood†about a week ago. My routine for reading is “Slash†on the toilet, Bond before bedtime, and “Drood†for the rest.
“Slash†was hard getting into because everything felt like it was being forced. Half-way into the book it started to feel more relaxed, with a pinch of uncertainty. At some points he says he doesn’t understand some things, then takes a stab at understanding using that moment in the story to illustrate why, and then goes back to never understanding something. It’s distracting, but the relaxed flow of the book gets me not to care by the next paragraph.
“The Man With The Golden Gun†is a perfect book to end a day with. The dialogue alone allows me to go to bed in a good mental state. Everyone knows Bond will get out of the situation he’s in with some gadget or luck in his favor, so there isn’t any heart pounding suspense to keep me up. It’s his interaction with other characters and what he says in every instance that puts a smile on my face before bed time.
My book of the moment is “Drood.†I can’t recall reading any other books by Dan Simmons, but I like the way the journey unfolds in this one. I’m not good at explaining stories for many reasons, so I will give link 1 and link 2 to help. The story, however, is being told to you by a Dickens associate in almost a confiding manner. Great book so far.
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