July 2007 Archives

I'm spending the last few minutes before I leave for class playing online. Maddy is curled up on the back of my thighs, Jordan is curled up against my hip with his head on my waist, and Max is right beside him with her head on my back. I love moments like this.

Today is the first day of a six-week parenting class I'm taking. I'm almost ashamed to say that I'm taking a parenting class because that seems like I'm admitting I'm not good at it or something, that I need help to learn how to parent, and I guess if we're being blunt here, that's true. I did a lot of babysitting in my youth so I know the basics of taking care of and interacting with kids, but babysitting and parenting have two very different end goals: babysitters are just trying to keep the kids entertained and out of trouble until their parents get home; parents are trying to raise their kids to be responsible people who are able to take care of themselves and make a good life for themselves. I'm winging it here, folks, and I think it is high time I took advantage of all the resources available so I can ensure that I'm doing the best job I can here. I don't know why I feel like there is such a stigma attached to taking a parenting class, but I had to think long and hard about whether I wanted to write about this because I'm not sure I want people to know I'm taking this class. I don't want anyone to look down on me because of this or feel like they're better than me because they don't need a parenting class. But then, why should it matter? If there's room for improvement in some area of my life, what's wrong with learning how I can be better? Why would I not want to try to be the best parent I'm capable of being?

A baked potato cooked in a microwave is yummy. A baked potato cooked in a microwave then reheated the next day is not.

Mike called me a few minutes ago to let me know that Disney is going to be making the rest of the Chronicles of Narnia books into movies and will be releasing one each May beginning in 2008 and concluding in 2013. Currently, Prince Caspian is scheduled to be released on May 16, 2008, and Voyage of the Dawn Treader (one of my favorite books of the series) is set for May 1, 2009. I don't know how much more of this bookly glee I can take!

As excited as I am about the The Dark is Rising movie (67 days till it's in theaters!), I am alarmed by some of what I have been reading about the adaptation, particularly this bit:

The planned film diverges from the book on several fundamental points, including the decision to rewrite Will Stanton's character to change him from an eleven-year-old English boy to a fourteen-year-old American boy, significant changes to the mythological structure of the plot, re-setting the story to occur in the present-day, and the addition of a brother of Will's as a potential "Judas" character among them.

I don't really think changing Will's age is a huge deal (although that does have some impact on the story since part of the reason it's such a big deal that Will is an Old One is because he's so young), and setting it in the present isn't too major either, but changing the setting from England to AMERICA?!? That changes the whole premise of the story! Arthurian mythology is heavily woven into the series, and America is NOT the country where Arthur lived. Arthur is not supposed to come back to AMERICA in a time of great trouble, he's supposed to come back to ENGLAND to save his people. Who are ENGLISH. This change affects not just this book, but the entire series, especially The Grey King and Silver on the Tree. In both of those stories the setting (location) is pivotal. Being in England is CRITICAL to the plot. You can't just change the setting and expect everything to be the same. America is a great country and all, but it doesn't have the same atmosphere (or culture) as England, and that's important, dammit! If the location wasn't changed in the remake of the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, why was it necessary to change it for The Dark is Rising? Bah.

Sweet tiny baby Moses. My brother just called to tell me that The Dark is Rising is being made into a movie! And it's supposed to be released this year! (October 5, to be exact.) How did I not hear about this until now? I LOVE that series. As far as I'm concerned, it's easily on par with the Chronicles of Narnia, the Sword of Truth, and the Wheel of Time as one of my favorite fantasy series. In retrospect it's probably for the best that I'm just finding out about this now, because had I known earlier, it would have been hard for me to wait patiently. As it is, October seems too far away. Seriously, y'all. The Dark? Is rising.

When the Dark comes rising, six shall turn it back;
Three from the circle, three from the track;
Wood, bronze, iron; water, fire, stone;
Five will return, and one go alone.

Iron for the birthday, bronze carried long;
Wood from the burning, stone out of song;
Fire in the candle-ring, water from the thaw;
Six Signs the circle, and the grail gone before.

Fire on the mountain shall find the harp of gold
Played to wake the Sleepers, oldest of the old;
Power from the green witch, lost beneath the sea;
All shall find the light at last, silver on the tree.

There were jelly slugs, cockroach clusters, Bertie Bott's Every Flavor beans, blood pops, and chocolate frogs. The concession stand had fresh popcorn, hot dogs, nachos, pretzels, Mountain Dew, Sunkist, Dr. Pepper, Coke, Skittles, M&Ms, Starbursts, Twizzlers, Twizzlers Nibs, Sourpatch Kids, Hershey Bars, gummy bears, Butterfingers, Goobers, Swedish Fish, and more.

Surprisingly enough, finding the fourth Harry Potter movie was virtually impossible. H and I went to three different stores looking for it, and finally found it at WalMart, of all places. I pounced on the first employee I saw in the movie section there, asking if they had the movie, only to hear him squeak out, "I don't know, I...I...I'm just a vendor ma'am." Thankfully, a real WalMart employee overheard the exchange and met me at the end of the next aisle with Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire in his hand. They only had the full screen version, which is normally UNACCEPTABLE at our house, but after being out for four hours, I wasn't in the mood to quibble over something like that.

I picked up a roll of tickets that everyone used at the concession stand and to get into the movies, H made containers for the tickets for both the concession stand and at the door to the movie theater, and Z and N decorated cups for both nights, and Mike did a wonderful job making the pretzels. Saturday's Movie Night was cut short after the third Harry Potter movie, so we didn't make it through all of that junk foody goodness, but I'm sure three movies' worth of candy, soda, and snacks did plenty of damage to our teeth as it is.

I've only missed one day at the gym in the past three weeks. (OKAY. It's only been 20 days. I believe in rounding up.) Earlier this week I started using the Whitestrips while I worked out, and as of Friday, I stopped listening to my workout mix and started listening to Tony Robbins. This morning I put cuticle/nail oil on before I left for the gym, so I'm working on having a healthy heart, a more toned ass, whiter teeth, a better mindset and life, and nicer cuticles and nails, all at the same time.

As I have documented once or twice before, I love dachshunds. One of my goals is to have a small herd of them, and I consider that goal achieved now that we have three. (Not that I don't want four, because I'd love to have tons of them. I just need a fenced-in yard so I don't have to deal with a fuckton of leashes all at once. When it comes to townhosue living, three is plenty enough wiener dogs.) When the delivery guy arrived with our pizza last night, the dogs, as usual, went tearing downstairs, barking furiously at the top of their little lungs, sounding as ferocious as three dogs under 15 pounds can collectively sound. After locking them in the laundry room, I answered the door and apologized for the welcoming committee. The delivery guy's reply? "It's okay. You've got a herd of them, I see." I did a little dance after I shut the door, because, HA! I OFFICIALLY HAVE A HERD OF WIENERBABIES.

Mike and I went in and talked to a counselor at one of the local colleges today, and when we walked out, we were both signed up for classes. They don't start for another month or so, but I'm still excited. I'm closer to getting a degree than I thought I was (approx. 1/3 of the way to an associate's degree), and that's exciting. Instead of taking another nine years to get an it, it might only take me two or three. I'm also excited because taking five classes will get me a certificate in something that will help me finally get my ass in gear for my business. Both of my classes are online, which is both good and bad. I like not having to go into class and deal with real people face-to-face if I don't have to, and taking the classes online will certainly not have the same impact on my evenings as staying on campus until 9:45 would. On the other hand, part of what I love about going back to school is buying school supplies, and I'm not sure just how much I'm going to need supply-wise if I'm not physically in the class. I can be such a nerd sometimes.

Mike and I have planned Movie Nights for tonight and tomorrow, and given the current Harry Potter events (last book, new movie), both nights are going to be Harry Potter-themed. We're going to watch the first two Harry Potter movies tonight, and tomorrow we'll watch the third and fourth movies. I polled the kids to find out what their favorite "movie theater" candy, drinks, and snacks were so we can have a "concession stand" both nights (I'm going to see if I can pick up some Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans too), and on Saturday we're going to have a "movie theater dinner" with hot dogs and nachos in between the two movies. After we're all caught up on the Harry Potter timeline, we're going to surprise the kids on Sunday and take them to the theater to see the fifth movie.

If you're allergic to dust, cleaning three month's worth of it off the fan in your bedroom shortly before going to sleep is not a good idea. You will wake up the following morning with sinuses that feel like someone inflated them while you slept.

If you're going to go to the trouble to fix stuff to bring in for lunch, quit leaving it at home. That baked potato will not do anything to fill you up when it's in a fridge 30 MILES AWAY.

Am I broken? I was before - am I back there again? Or is this normal, for me? Is this how I'm supposed to be right now? Is this the lens I should be looking through? If you can't trust your inner compass, how do you tell? How do you determine which outside opinions are true and which are just intended to be hurtful? I've hit a patch lately where I'm doubting myself (with good reason), and that makes it very difficult to know when to trust myself and when I'm just bullshitting myself so I can feel better about the path I'm on.

I make a lot of excuses. I make them for people I care about, for people that I want to be friends with, but I also make them for myself. A lot. I make them to myself too. I use things as excuses to do something that I want to do but know I shouldn't. "He asked me a question, that means I can talk about something I've been thinking about mentioning but didn't because I knew it wouldn't be a good idea." "He offered to take me to dinner so I'm going to use that as my excuse to abandon my goal of eating healthy and eat unhealthy stuff that I enjoy but know I would be better off not eating." "I haven't heard from him in a long time - I'm sure things are just busy, and he'll call/write when he gets time." "I know better, but he did this, so that's my excuse for doing that." At what point do you stop making excuses for yourself and realize that you're just not doing a good job? That you're not really being excused from doing something, you're just bullshitting yourself so you'll feel okay about it?

If you run out of time one morning and have to bring the fixings for your breakfast to work with you so you can make it there, it is important that you remember to bring ALL of them. It's pointless to bring a glass dish with some cinnamon and sugar so you can have some freshly cooked (microwaved) apples in your oatmeal if you then forget the damn apple.

I've gone to the gym every day except one (last Sunday) for the past 17 days. (Yes, I'm counting. Don't even try to tell me that surprises you.) Working out is slowly making itself a part of my daily life, my routine, and I'm glad. My goal is to get in better shape and start taking better care of myself, and I'm doing this one small tweak at a time. The first was going to the gym, and the next is using Crest Whitestrips. My teeth aren't horribly yellow, but neither are they the gleaming white of commercials. Realistically I don't want or expect them to look like that, but I do want them to look a little less dingy, thus the Whitestrips. Since today was the first day I used them, I don't have much by way of progress to report yet. I plan to take pictures either today or tomorrow though, so I'll have "before" and "after" pics to refer to. I also need to weigh myself and take my measurements so I'll some sort of baseline to measure my working out against.

I'm pretty sure I've written about it here before, but I'll say it again - my goal isn't to lose weight, per se, because I don't care how much I weigh, as long as I'm healthy and fit. If I muscle up to 150+ after I add weight training back in, okay. I won't lie and tell you that the idea of weighing in at 150 THRILLS me, but if it's 150 lbs of muscle instead of 150 lbs of flab, I can handle that. It helps to see what I'm capable of too: being able to leg press over 240 lbs is very encouraging, if not outright empowering. My goal is to be happy, fit/in shape, and healthy, mentally, physically, and emotionally.

When using Crest Whitestrips, always remember to peel them off the plastic backing before trying to apply them. They stick much better that way. Also? Read the damn directions again because 1) they give you upper AND lower strips, and 2) the lower strips fit your lower teeth much better than the upper ones do. Furthermore, it would seem that you are not supposed to use strips on your upper and lower teeth at the same time. You're supposed to use all the upper ones first and THEN start using the ones for your lower teeth.

So, I'm not as stressed as I was a few days ago. Today wasn't as busy at work, I had dinner ready to go (aside from cooking up some potatoes) when I got home, and I didn't have any laundry emergencies to attend to, so I was able to take things a little slower than I have been. This has left me with a little more time to spend with my snuggle bears, and that always helps me in the "peace of mind" arena. I wish I had a job that allowed me to bring them with me. Instead of a lunch break (which I almost never take), I could take snoogle breaks. C'mon, you KNOW it's a great idea.

Mike bought me the new Harry Potter book while we were at Best Buy today, and I just finished it about half an hour ago. Originally I wasn't going to buy it - I was going to wait until the library had it and check it out from there instead - but we passed by a display of the pretty hardbacks with their colorful covers and their shiny new book smells, and when Mike told me he was going to buy one for me, I couldn't say no. I started it shortly after we got home, and I just finished it a few minutes ago. I'm going to get into what I think about the Deathly Hallows later, but for now I'll give a little (a lot) backstory about me and Harry Potter.

When the first book came out, I could not have cared less about it or him. I thought it was kind of funny that so many people were getting so into it, but that was about all the thought I put into it at the time. Then, as more of the books came out and more people got into it, I started getting annoyed - I couldn't go ANYWHERE without hearing about Harry Potter, and the fans weren't laid-back about it all. They were fucking RABID, talking Harry Potter up like it was the best series ever written, bar none, and that grated on me. Even my brother got caught up. He was the cause of my first personal exposure to the series, in the form of the movies. The first Harry Potter movie was scheduled to come out right around his birthday, and because he was a HUGE fan (and I was notoriously bad about wrapping presents), I decided to take him to see it for his birthday: he'd get to see a movie he was extremely anxious to see and get a great birthday present, and I wouldn't have to wrap anything - perfection! I didn't hate the movie, but it didn't exactly suck me in, either. While I put aside some of my hate for Harry, I stayed a little aloof, unsure of whether or not I wanted to give the series any more of a try than that. The following year the second Harry Potter movie was on the horizon. Since taking my brother to the first one had been such a success, I took him to the second one for his birthday that year, with the same results. By that point I no longer hated Potter, but I still wasn't ready to don a Hogwarts shirt or wizard hat. We had plans to do the same thing the next year for the third movie, but when November rolled around, they foiled my brilliant birthday plan and pushed the release date back to the following summer. The cycle was broken (and I had to find another idea for a birthday present). After I met Mike, the kids reintroduced Harry Potter into my life. A and Z were both hardcore fans, and N was interested in the series as well, although not quite as much as his older brothers. I held out for a couple more years, but when Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince was released in 2005, I caved. I decided to read the first book and see how I liked it. That coincided with my start at my new job, so while I was waiting to get set up with a computer and an account and all that good stuff, I brought Harry Potter along to keep me company. It only took me a couple of days to finish the first book, and that was the beginning of the end for me. For the rest of that week and part of the next, the only things I brought to work with me were the Harry Potter books, and I read them every chance I could. I finally understood why so many people liked the series. I still didn't (and don't) think it's the Best Series Evar (I'm still partial to the Chronicles of Narnia, the Dark is Rising, the Wheel of Time, and the Sword of Truth), but I do think it's much better than I initially gave it credit for. With that said, I'm a little sad to the series come to an end, although I do think it's best to end things like this while they are still good, instead of dragging them out until they're limping along, barely breathing anymore.

I'm about .35 seconds away from tears. I've been like this for over half of the morning. It feels like an elephant is sitting on my chest, and I've got a lead weight in my stomach. I want nothing more than to go home, crawl in bed, and go to sleep with the puppies curled up against me. I don't know exactly why I'm in this emotional state (hormones? not enough sleep? too much crappy food? something in the water?), but I do know that various things throughout the day have been adding on top of each other to make it seem like this is a Horrible Day, when, in reality, it's just a day - nothing awful, nothing great. Mentally acknowledging that doesn't make the elephant or the weight go away, though, and it does nothing to banish the tears. I feel completely and totally alone right now, with no one to lean on or even talk to.

I love flower arrangements as much as the next woman, if not more, but this looks like an intriguing twist on ye old bouquet. This one looks tasty too, and I'm thinking about ordering this one as a pick-me-up for my sister. (Her new job apparently has a hellish adjustment period that lasts, on average, 6 months, at which point things SLOWLY start to get better.)

As far as I'm concerned, Maggie Moo's is the best ice cream place, evar. I locked my keys in the truck while H and I were out running errands over the weekend, and since I don't have a spare truck key, I had to call Mike to come rescue us from the parking lot. As a thank-you, H and I took Mike and Z out for ice cream. (N had opted to stay at home instead of coming along on the rescue mission.) The closest ice cream shop was Maggie Moo's. Mike and I had never been there before, but after Sunday's trip, it's my new favorite ice cream shop. In a moment of weakness I abandoned my elimination diet for that part of the afternoon and got a waffle cone with the Destination: Dark Chocolate Island (dark chocolate ice cream with almonds, strawberries, and fudge topping) Fresh Escape ("Maggie's favorite ice cream combinations") with marshmallows added in. I am here to tell you that was a not-so-tiny scoop of heaven in a waffle cone. It was worth every bit of pain I felt from the migraine that hit me later that afternoon. I was looking at the Maggie Moo's website just before I started writing this, and all the potential combinations I can think of from the flavors and mix-ins are overwhelming. It would take me several visits to try all of the combinations that sound appealing (although I have to say, I don't ever foresee myself trying anything with the cotton candy-flavored ice cream. yeck), and, quite frankly, that's too much ice cream even for me. It's probably a good thing I've never been to a Cold Stone Creamery. (For some reason, I can never get the name of that place right; I always call it "Stone Cold Creamery." I'm pretty sure that's a result of all the Monday nights I spent watching WWF [this was before they had to change to the "WWE"] Raw and Stone Cold Steve Austin.)

I did change over the sheets, make the bed, prep things for this morning, take the puppies out, get the mail, and put the streaks in H's hair before I crawled into bed last night. I did NOT start a load of work clothes or get things ready for dinner tonight. (The dinner thing is okay because we're having left-over pizza, which is a story in and of itself.) When I get home this afternoon I will fold/put away the towels that are currently in the dryer, throw in the work clothes, wash a load of the kids' clothes, and start prepping things for the spicy chicken enchildas we're having tomorrow.

I'm worn the hell out. We're in the middle of our uninterrupted summer time with the kids, and it's nice to have all this time with them, but it is also quite a schedule change. I did make it to the gym every day last week, and I did put in a full week (both were goals of mine for the week), but, fuck me. I feel like I have been going non-stop forever. Most of the time I got home, got dinner ready, cleaned up, got things ready for the next morning, and tackled a bit of the housework before 8:30, but on a couple of days, things ran later, and that was frustrating because I felt like I didn't have any time for myself. One day of that I can handle - I won't be thrilled, but I know things balance out and it's not be the end of the world - but a couple in a row start draining me. The weekend was good, but it didn't really feel like a weekend. That means that I feel like I'm starting the whole thing all over again without a real break or chance to decompress, and THAT is why I am exhausted right now. If the sheets weren't in the washer, I would be sorely tempted to just crawl under the covers and rest my aching bones (Yes. They ache. I am OLD), but like Robert Frost, I have miles to go before I sleep. (Possibly not miles. Possibly just a trip to the laundry room to change over the sheets and start a load of work clothes, then a trip to the kitchen to get things ready for dinner tomorrow and to prep Mike's lunch/coffee/etc., then a trip upstairs to get my gym stuff ready, then back to the laundry room to get the sheets and put the work clothes in the dryer, then back upstairs to make the bed and put streaks in H's hair and tuck her in once they have dried and won't make a mess on her pillowcase, then downstairs to take out the puppies and get the mail, then back upstairs to [hopefully] collapse. Finally.)

Powdered creamer belongs in your husband's coffee mug, not the pan of oatmeal you're making for your breakfast.

(Note: I initially felt that this was a little too personal to write about here, but that's what this is for, right? And hell, y'all have already heard about my nipple rings...)

Within the last 30 days, two of my three surviving grandparents (my mom's dad died from cancer a few years ago) have been diagnosed with cancer. At the end of June my mom's mother found out she had a tumor in her chest and was diagnosed with cancer both in and around her lungs. They sent her for more testing to determine whether or not she had a brain tumor as well, and at the beginning of this month they found out that she also has a stage 4 tumor on her spine. Yesterday, my dad's father was diagnosed with prostate cancer. It's all pretty overwhelming, everything coming at once like that, and it's particularly rough for both of my parents to have to go through this at the same time. To top it all off, my best friend's family is having their own experience with the cancer right now, too. I'm trying not to get all bleak and gloomy, but it's hard not to when it feels like everyone's dying of cancer.

I was having headaches almost daily for the past couple of weeks, including frequent migraines. After reading a couple migraine books, I read about an elimination diet that is supposed to help determine which foods trigger migraines; the premise is that for 30 days, you only eat certain foods - ones that don't seem to be common migraine triggers (it's a very short list, trust me) - and after that, you start adding other foods back into your diet, introducing one every other day. I started doing this over the weekend, and this morning I noticed that I've been feeling pretty good since then. I've gotten in some cardio every morning so far this week, I've been sticking to the "can eat" list pretty closely (except for some small couscous confusion Saturday and Sunday - I thought regular couscous was okay, but noooo, it has to be WHOLE WHEAT couscous. Pfft.), and, sure, it could be a placebo effect, but I think I'm feeling better because of the food changes and exercise.

I went to the gym both yesterday morning and today. Yesterday I had to push myself, but today it was easy; I got up as soon as Mike did, put on my gym clothes before I took the puppies out, and was out the door heading for the gym right after he left for work. I only had time for 20 minutes today, but I'm going to adjust my morning a little bit tomorrow and see if that will give me the extra 10 minutes I need to get in 30 minutes of cardio. I didn't do a good job of getting things ready last night, and I think that's part of why I didn't have as much time to spend at the gym. Twice while I was looking for things I had to stop and force myself to slow down. Both times it paid off - instead of wasting more time flurrying around trying to find the lid to Mike's coffee mug or my shoes, I stopped, took a breath and collected myself, then was able to look around calmly and find what I was looking for instead of continuing to overlook it because I was in a rush.

It seems that the rain was short-lived, but I still want to go home. Even if I don't get to curl up on the couch with Mike, there's still plenty of things that I would rather be doing - cleaning up the kitchen, making fettuccine alfredo, finishing up with some magazines so I could get rid of them, washing the sheets, clipping the puppies' nails, reading one of my library books, playing online (it's more fun to play online at home on my pretty new laptop than it is here), loading the dishwasher...today's game is Anywhere But Here.

Mike is at home today, and it was so hard to get up this morning and come in to work. I wanted nothing more than to stay in bed, curled up against him, with the puppies pressed in around us, but I had to come in. Now it's raining hard, and I'm here for a couple more hours when all I want is to be at home with him, curled up on the couch, with the puppies pressed in around us while we watch Perry Mason.

We had a nice relaxing holiday. I had to work late on Tuesday, but after I got home, Mike and I went out to meet some friends for drinks and whatnot. We stayed out till after 10, then came home, at which point I went to bed. I slept in yesterday and didn't get up until after 10, which is unusual for me lately. The rest of the day was just as lazy. Mike and I watched the Passion of the Christ, played online, ordered Chinese food, and then watched Zim until we were ready to go to bed. I'm not a big fan of the 4th of July festivities, so I was perfectly content with not cooking out or going to see fireworks. I enjoy cook-outs, but we do that frequently throughout the summer, so I don't see any need to make a big deal about having one then. And while fireworks are, without a doubt, awesome to watch, there aren't any that are spectacular enough to make dealing with the traffic to and from worthwhile. Maybe that's just my old age talking, though.

I'm absolutely thrilled that tomorrow's a holiday. Even after our relaxing weekend, I need the extra day off. I'm starting to feel run down - like I barely have enough energy to keep my eyes open, much less make it through work and clean up around the house - and I don't know if it's because my allergies are flaring up, if I'm not sleeping well so I'm just not getting enough rest, or if it's because of something else completely, but I really need a day of doing nothing.

We watched this on Saturday, and I have to admit, it was much better than I thought it was going to be. I haven't seen Clerks yet, so I don't know how it compares as a sequel, but I didn't hate it like I thought I would.

We watched the remake of King Kong yesterday afternoon, and, as far as I am concerned, that will be the ONLY time I watch this movie. I cried through at least half of the damn thing, in spite of Mike's assurances that they had changed the story in this remake. The Kong/Anne interaction in the jungle choked me up, when he was reaching out for her after they captured him KILLED me, and my cold Grinch heart shattered into a bajillion pieces when he was looking for her in New York and then again after he found her and they were up on the building. The special effects were fantastic, the cast was a perfect selection (I really liked Naomi Watts and Adrien Brody in their roles, and Jack Black played his character well, even though I didn't like him much); the movie was very well done as a whole, but I cannot sit through it again. Not without leaving the room for the majority of it, anyways.

listy goodness after the jump